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Send those pics – Webmstr.
Phil Aquino wants everyone to send us your holiday pics. Don’t just
send the finished products. Send shots of the embarrassing moments while decorating or otherwise
preparing for the holidays. The spilled gravy, the fall from the roof (including X-Rays), the
Thanksgiving dinner, send the pics. Send us pics of you and your family, your dog, nude pics of your
neighbor (Phil wants those). Send pics of the grandkids’ visit to Santa, your decorated home-exterior
and/or interior. Thanksgiving pics, Chanukah pics, Christmas pics, New Year pics, Festivus pics.
SEND US THE PICS SEND TO SMOKE SIGNALS
EMAIL ADDRESSES FOR OUR TROOPS Phil is planning on establishing a web page for pics of
our men and women
in uniform who are currently serving in
Chris Hill mailto:email@example.com Patsy Hill Bailey’s nephew currently serving in
Check out the pics received thus far. CLICK FOR FESTIVE PICS
Send 4 or 5 pics to SMOKE SIGNALS for publishing
Phil has dinner with Leigh Moore and all I get is a lousy picture CLICK FOR PIC
Clarkson and Mary Ann Rambo McDow on an ’05 Alaskan trip. CLICK FOR PICS
wasn’t a June wedding, but in Aug. Marcia Eckles and Mike Miller were married by a J.P. on the
beach in Destin, witnesses include their three kids and 5 grandkids. CLICK FOR PICS
Ann and Larry Solomon hit the high seas for their 41st
anniversary. CLICK AND SCROLL
WARRIORS WE LOST IN 2006
WHILE WE ARE MOURNING THE LOSS OF OUR FRIEND, OTHERS ARE REJOICING TO
MEET HIM BEHIND THE VEIL. John Taylor
Emalie Appleton - September
Robert (Bob) White - December
Memories – Send you Central Memories to PAULA
The press employs "Frisbee science" that is "invariably alarmist in nature."
Australian climate-change researcher Robert M. Carter
(Smoke Signals takes umbrage at these remarks.)
Be Advised – According
to webmaster and staff accountant Phil Aquino, before preparing your ’06
tax return, you should check out this link. http://www.snopes.com/business/taxes/excise.asp
WARNINGS TO WARRIORS – from
Smoke Signals medical advisor Dr. Vinny Boombatz
One of the best ways to reduce the risk of heart
trouble is to avoid periodontal disease. Brush and
Beer, anger, coffee, LSD, sunlight, maggots, marijuana, red wine, chocolate, sex, check this out.
TOP 10 BAD THINGS THAT ARE GOOD FOR YOU!!
TIPS FROM THE REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS
from Smoke Signals etiquette editor Betty Jo Olive
*ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME*
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.
FROM THE LAUGH TRACK from Karen Paine New
The Three Samurais
Long ago and
far away there was in the land of the Samurai a powerful emperor who needed a
Chief Samurai, so he sent a declaration throughout the land that he was searching for the best one.
A year passed, and only three people showed up for the trials: a Japanese Samurai, Chinese
Samurai, and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to demonstrate why he
should be the chief Samurai. The
Japanese Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a bumblebee. Whoosh! Went his razor sharp
sword, and the bumblebee dropped dead on the ground in two pieces. The emperor exclaimed: "This
then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai; for him to demonstrate
he should be chosen. The Chinese Samurai also opened a matchbox, and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh,
Whoosh! Went his great flashing sword, and the fly dropped dead on the ground - in four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed in awe: "That is really VERY impressive."
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also
to step forward and demonstrate
why he should be the head Samurai. The Jewish Samurai also opened a matchbox, and out flew a
tiny gnat. His lightning quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh! But the tiny gnat was
still alive and flying around.
obviously very disappointed in this display, said: "I see you are not up
to the task, for
the gnat is not dead."
The Jewish Samurai merely smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
SEND US A SHORT BIO ALONG WITH A RECENT PHOTO SO WE CAN PUT
IN THE NEWS WITH VIEWS send news of new jobs, retirement, kids, grandkids,
ANYTHING OF INTEREST going on in your life to SMOKE SIGNALS
Dec. 2 – A
letter from Leeba
Right now I am swamped and very far behind on e-mails. We all appreciate your prayers concerning
Caleb. Thank all of you who remember him. I will not have time in the next few weeks to respond to
anyone due to our moving out of this house, and we only have a few weeks to continue to throw
away and give away and put in one pile what goes to
near Bill and Janice's.
15th – SupperClub A battle between a drug
pusher and a woman who would charge you for a
glass of water. CLICK FOR STORY AND PICS
Dec. 29th – A
Child Is Born. Jim and Paula Wicker Hamby became
grandparents this morning with
the birth of James Marshall Hamby. Remember that name, because Little James needs our prayers.
Born prematurely and weighing 1 pound and 3 ounces, James faces a struggle in the short term.
Doctors have said he is displaying a great deal of stamina for such a small baby. Thankfully the
parents, Morris and Melissa Hamby were in her parent’s hometown of
fine neonatal facility. When little James gets stronger, he will be taken to Vanderbilt Children’s
Hospital, which is closer to his family’s
NEWS FOR THE OUT-OF-TOWNER for more, visit THE COMMERCIAL APPEAL
Dance Troupe or Girl Gang, you decide. – 16 girls were
suspended and several arrested
after a fight at Trezvant High between a “Dance Troupe” and another group of girls.
Dec. 12th Cat Fight! – Meanwhile,
over at Frayser High, 3 female students we issued summonses
after engaging in a brawl. One mother was arrested when she joined in the fray.
Manny Found Dead – Manney, the errant manatee discovered in
Oct., apparently succumbed to the cold temps and a lack of food. A necropsy is scheduled to be
performed by the Overton Park Zoo.
Dec. 11th World’s Oldest, Dead –
Mrs. Elizabeth Bolden, who at 116 was the oldest person in
world, died today in
Dec. 21st Warriors on the warpath – According
to sketchy reports, an altercation that occurred
inside the Central Gym during the East – Central basketball game, spilled outside. No injuries were
reported nor is there an estimate of the number of students involved. An unknown number of arrests
LINKS YOU’LL LOVE
Speaking of the King, we
were weren’t we? No, not Elvis, though his birthday
will bring thousands of the faithful to
the “King of the Surf Guitar”, Dick Dale. In the ’50s, Dale virtually created “Surf
Music”. While his name may not sound familiar and most of his songs won’t
strike a familiar note, his is an incredible story. Dale worked with industry
giants such as Leo Fender, who built the Dick Dale S ignature Stratocaster
Guitar and James B. Lansin, JBL, who ultimately was able to build speakers
that Dale couldn’t blow-up. Unarguably his most famous offering was his ’62 recording of “Miserlou”.
Doesn’t sound familiar? Many rate it as the best surf song ever written. Once you hear it, you’ll say”
that DOES sound familiar, now where have I heard that?” Before you read Dale’s story, turn your
speakers on, REAL LOUD and CLICK TO HEAR "MISERLOU" which may take a few moments to
load. Then CLICK FOR THE DALE STORY
Being single may shorten a man’s life by as much as ten years.
The most profitable film ever, Deep Throat, which
was made for $25,000 and has thus far grossed
And in an “I don’t believe it” story, The Denver
Post reports that authorities clocked a 16 year-old
boy driving 142 mph in a Subaru Impreza. CLICK TO READ
Happy 40th Birthday to you, CHICKENMAN CLICK TO HEAR 1ST EPISODE